What Happened to Civility?
This is a question I have noticed myself asking with increased frequency lately. One does not have to look far and wide to gather countless examples of people berating each other over a variety of "hot topics" like politics, religion, the economy, you name it. If someone doesn't agree with your stance, the other person clearly "doesn't get it" or is whatever fill in the blank put down we hear repeated constantly on cable news.
This loss of civility has decreased our ability to have real conversations with others about our unique viewpoints. Entering into conversation with those who hold contrary views creates a very real opportunity for learning. These interactions may end up changing your opinions or may solidify the beliefs you held prior to the conversation. Either way, the outcome of these interactions is a more informed and potentially stronger view. I fear these types of conversations don't happen as much anymore because sharing your views has become too "high risk" when the likely outcome of your sharing may become someone making assumptions about who you are or what you think about other issues just because you chose to share an opinion about one. This loss of conversation around important issues is truly a loss and something that damages us all.
Controversy with Civility is one of the components of the Social Change Model of Leadership Development. The authors of this model tell us leaders are people who are open to discussing and considering multiple points of view. As leaders we have the responsibility to carefully consider ideas from a variety of sources, especially those that may not be quick to agree with views we may hold. Creating a space for ideas to be shared and issues to be discussed is an important part of making leadership more inclusive by welcoming diversity of thought and opinion.
This is a topic that doesn't have to live in the world of the theoretical. There are tangible steps we can take as leaders every day to encourage civil behavior in our every day lives. Not all uncivil behavior consists of the types of yelling and screaming we see on TV. Civility can be as simple as caring about what others think, actually listening to others without thinking about what you are going to say next, or even taking a moment to think about how someone else may be affected by your words or actions.
Resorting to name calling, negatives assumptions, and choosing to only interact with those who hold similar views to us only leads to further entrenchment. The type of leadership that can bring people together to discuss issues where we don't always agree and can eliminate the derogatory name calling and assumptions that have become all too common is desperately needed. My hope is that a new generation of leaders can emerge that will value civility again. In the mean time, what can we all do within our spheres of influence to give civility a chance? What are you willing to do to as a leader to create a more civil world?
This loss of civility has decreased our ability to have real conversations with others about our unique viewpoints. Entering into conversation with those who hold contrary views creates a very real opportunity for learning. These interactions may end up changing your opinions or may solidify the beliefs you held prior to the conversation. Either way, the outcome of these interactions is a more informed and potentially stronger view. I fear these types of conversations don't happen as much anymore because sharing your views has become too "high risk" when the likely outcome of your sharing may become someone making assumptions about who you are or what you think about other issues just because you chose to share an opinion about one. This loss of conversation around important issues is truly a loss and something that damages us all.
Controversy with Civility is one of the components of the Social Change Model of Leadership Development. The authors of this model tell us leaders are people who are open to discussing and considering multiple points of view. As leaders we have the responsibility to carefully consider ideas from a variety of sources, especially those that may not be quick to agree with views we may hold. Creating a space for ideas to be shared and issues to be discussed is an important part of making leadership more inclusive by welcoming diversity of thought and opinion.
This is a topic that doesn't have to live in the world of the theoretical. There are tangible steps we can take as leaders every day to encourage civil behavior in our every day lives. Not all uncivil behavior consists of the types of yelling and screaming we see on TV. Civility can be as simple as caring about what others think, actually listening to others without thinking about what you are going to say next, or even taking a moment to think about how someone else may be affected by your words or actions.
Resorting to name calling, negatives assumptions, and choosing to only interact with those who hold similar views to us only leads to further entrenchment. The type of leadership that can bring people together to discuss issues where we don't always agree and can eliminate the derogatory name calling and assumptions that have become all too common is desperately needed. My hope is that a new generation of leaders can emerge that will value civility again. In the mean time, what can we all do within our spheres of influence to give civility a chance? What are you willing to do to as a leader to create a more civil world?
Argue like you're right and listen like you're wrong.
ReplyDeleteAlso... if you haven't read Heifetz, Leadership Without Easy Answers, you would very much enjoy his take on this type of leadership!!
Miss ya Paul!
We need to embrace our own vulnerability and accept that what me may see as a personal or social risk, by thinking with a finite view of power, will pay large dividends in our relationships once we start to trust and empower other people. As opposed to, trying to gain social power by breaking others down and victimizing their social vulnerability and protecting our own. Contrary to some instincts, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable with each other will actually help us connect more with each other instead of single us out. This requires Civility.
ReplyDeleteReflection Question: How does the way you act allow/prevent people around you from showing/protecting their vulnerability?
I saw a really great TED video about vulnerability. check it out. http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html